alien resurrection

hey there my friends! real sorry for not being able to update my blog. was very busy with last minute grad school requirements. and my life is kinda screwed up right now i could hardly find the strength and will to get up in the morning. but im trying…real hard…

Jai Guru De Va Om

I have most recently fallen in love with this Beatles song. i love the Beatles! …hai hai hai…My Ting, i love you and will continue to do so from this side of the universe. Miss you….

Across the Universe

 Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru de va om
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
That call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they
Tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru de va om
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views inviting and inciting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a
Million suns, it calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru de va om
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world.

Conversation (lah-lah finally takes the chance)

December 14, 2006 SM Clark

Lah-lah: hi ting! r u stil coming to school tomorrow? :-)  (waits anxiously, torn between having a strong desire to kick myself and feeling hopeful that you will answer)

3 minutes later (darn slow poke network!)

Ting: Hi mam!..dehinz na kahaponp kc ako umuwi eh, nxt yir nlang ako ako mg eeksam. bktz?

Lah-lah (victorious, heart doing a drum roll) nothing, may bi2gay me sna. it was supposed 2 be a bday gift but den again d ko nabigay. nxt yr ko n lang pbigay ky jon k? hay buti pa ikaw vacation na! how r u?

(fingers crossed ulit)

Ting: Heh2x eto ok lang mam, nghhntay pko nang resultz dun sa pma. Dko na mhintay ang mabangong samyo nang pulbura at bala nang kanyon sa baguio. kau mam klase pa?

Lah-lah: ikaw tlga, war freak pa rn. dnt wori, soon u’l b smelling d pine trees of baguio! yeah,magre2port p ako ds sat tpos xmas party ng auf pagkgabi. tom cas party, im emcee den at 3 pm bio party. den i have 2 leave 4 baguio ng 2 am sat. huhu! tpos dmi papers 2 check sa break, research papers etc etc horrible haha!

Ting: Wla dn kmeng bksyon, ang dmi dn pnpgawa smn. Hyaan nyo mam sa oras na grumraduate ako aftr 4 yrs pa2sabugin k ang auf pra dkna obligadong mg2ro dyan, at pra dn wla nang skul 2lad nng auf na nag-momold sa mga kgya nmen sa npi2litang gmwa nang karahasan dhl sa dagok nang tadhana!..kmzta ba pla sa lab mam? na mi misko na c clayton!

Lah-lah: wow! shall i warn sir eya? ang lab ayun crazy p rn. We hav 3 new friends. c clayton anorexic p rn. C eman dn at may kasama na sya c lonemill. c kristel pla na confine 2daybcoz of acidity. Sbi ni edz d k man dw pumupuntadun, kinalimutan mo na daw kami. I said natural c roberto pa!

Love you, Blueberry ko! i miss your “makabayan” manner of speaking, your rough speech and your sporadic sweet words! happy christmas!

 p.s.

si clayton lang ba talaga ang na-mi-miss mo sa lab? ako ba hindi? buti pa ang model ng skeletal system natin…

CAS Cheerdance Championship and Lah-Lah Petrified (a.k.a. the Ice Cream episode)

December 05, 2006 Tuesday

     a day that will go down in Lah-Lah history. i am happy to report that for this day, the winning streak of our college, Arts and Sciences continues as we bagged the championship for the cheerdance competition. woo-hoo! ours was clearly the best performance ever and by the end of it, everyone, a.s. and opponents alike were proclaiming our cheerdance as the best.

     and so we (my co-faculty members and I) were of high spirits when we had our lunch at mr. frosty. when we got back to school, we stopped over the ice cream booth since mam gon decided to give us all a treat. i was the last one to get my ice cream and was patiently waiting when i heared a yell from my colleagues behind that made me freeze on the spot: “ROBERT!!!” i turned and lo and behold! there standing in all his yummy- glory was my beloved Blueberry Ting-ting, wearing black like me! i turned back to the ice cream vendor fervently praying that he would take ten years scooping my ice cream. finally the ice cream guy gave me my ice cream and i had no other choice but to join in the kumustahans. i was petrified on the spot and was just numb all over. when Ting-ting saw me, his smile widened, took one step towards me and raised his hand for a high five. my hand automatically went up to meet his and for a second, my skin got in contact with the beautiful hands i so missed. his hand was as cold as my ice cream (he is always very embarrassed whenever we would hold hands [nothing romantic here, only when we inspect each other's hands for some shallow reasons] because they are pasmado (so perpetually clammy).

     on my way back, my colleagues just laughed their heads off because of my reaction. i looked utterly ridiculous. i was standing there, ice cream in one hand with a very strained smile and bewildered expression on my face. and get this, i didnt get to say anything because my tongue seemed to have gotten real short (i could barely lick my ice cream as we went back and so it started dripping all over my hand!they were simply laughing their heads off!). imagine, i have been thirsting for any encounter with him and when it did happened, all i ever did was to stand there, give him a strained smile with a drippy chunky cappuccino ice cream in one hand. yeah right Lah-Lah, very smooth, what an impressive impression you made!

 p.s.

all thought of the ice cream evaporated from me since he looked oh-so-yummy! he’s sporting a new hairstyle and he looks very very relaxed and happy. well, mam belle informed me after that that in an effort to keep him while im getting my ice cream so i’d get to say hello to him too, she blurted out “Oi Robert! Lika nga dito, bless ka!” bwahahahaha! that was for the lack of anything to say to him but she was desperate to show him to me! sweet eh? heheheheh! Oh and after all the laughter subsided (okay, just a bit alright? it was realy hard for them to recover), they were making me kilig by commenting on how close Ting and I are since i was the only one he high- fived. oh well…

I Miss Him, I Miss Him, I MISS HIM!!!

i miss my Ting-ting! i wanna see my Ting-ting! i wanna hear him play his guitar and hear him sing! i wanna hear my Ting-ting’s baritone voice! i wanna hear his sick jokes and his delightful evil laugh! I miss his hugs <waheheheheh!>! i miss his beautiful hands and his lips and his expressive eyes! and most of all, i miss his comforting presence…

 MAKE IT REAL
The Jets

Tonight it’s been a year
we met each other here
Here I am all alone
as thoughts of you go on

Hear me cryin’ out to you
you said, “Never, never would I leave”
Here’s a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

CHORUS:

I loved you
You didn’t feel the same
Though we’re apart
You’re in my heart
Give me one more chance to
Make it real

In a dream you are here
You smile and hold me near
And in my heart I’ll pretend
that you are here again

Hear me cryin’ out to you
You said, “Never, never would I leave”
Here’s a tear from me to you
and maybe it will make you hear me

Chorus

Give me one more chance to
Make it real

We are the Champions! :-)

woohoo! the above title should be sang to the tune of that song by queen! the science quiz bee is done and guess what?!!!! we emerged as champions! woohoo!!! i think i am more hyper this day than one of our contestants xtian peewee, one of my ;bio “babies” (im their adviser). The other two are kim and lee (korean, who i am very thankful speaks and understands english) the thing that made me so happy was that even if i had been seriously demented lately eversince i overdosed on Blueberry last week, i was still able to have review sessions with them. i mean i had misgivings when i got appointed as coach since i was not a quiz bee contestant myself in my undergrad years and i am seriously moronic lately.  so i just taught them whatever and was just very thankful im working with very smart students sir marlon reviewed them in earth science and sir rey in chemistry.

this morning i woke up vowing i am not going to watch the quiz myself because im just way too nervous i might faint. my co-faculty members here have been urging me to accompany them but i just couldn’t, i said. but then again, as i was preparing to give the bio/psych their nosebleed of a long test in cell, the college called to say that the entire class is being pulled out to give moral support to our contestants. so i had no choice but to sit it out.

thank goodness sir marlon was there too and guess what, he was even bringing this huge earth science book! i was surprised i didnt end up biting my nails because we would get all jumpy with every question. i was happy to hear some questions on topics we went through during our review sessions but at the same time i was begging the Lord to make them remember the right concepts and ideas. during the easy round education and camp were ahead of us but we snatched the lead during the middle of the average round and left them during the difficult round. i think the only thing that we observed with the quiz was that the chemistry stoichiometry and physics problem were given a time limit of 30 seconds. thats hardly enough to write down and process the given right? but no matter, we still won! and that’s what matters! so, in the end, we were champions, camp (allied medical professions) 1st runner up and cba (business ad.) 2nd runner up. woohoo! free lunch! hehehehe!

thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing! (uhm, i think something of my Ting-ting have definitely rubbed- off). i am just happy that in the midst of all these disasters and madness in my life, i became at least, a small part in something good and happy. that something happy could still happen ;despite my misery.

oh, and congratulations to engineering (ahem! sir marlon was by the way, rolling his eyes everytime i would secretly cheer for this “college of mine” heheheh! college ni Ting to eh) for being 1st runner ups for the math quiz bee. i love you college of engineering (especially someone in particular bwahahahahah!)

 

Lah-Lah Demented

i should have known…it has happened before when he was still here with me in the department. everytime i overindulge in his presence it drives me mad. cultural pop band competition was a major blast. not just because of the bands, but mainly because i feasted on an almighty sight which was my Blueberry Ting- ting seated along my line of vision. having not seen him for more than a month, i was truly bloodthirsty and hungry for any vision of him. as i’ve told you before, i watched the band competition partly (okay, okay so mainly!) because i heard through the grapevine he was finally joining their college’s band. however, i wasn’t really counting on that but i know i would see him among the audience if ever. knowing the frustrated rockstar in him, i know he wouldn’t miss it for the world. and i was right! he did not join the competition but he sat among the audience.

well, due to the popularity of the band comp, the seats were filled right away. so baloy, tim, migz/ida, mam goce and i had to stand up on the sides to watch. i saw among the crowd some of our lab assistants looking at me pointedly and waving energetically for me to come and sit with them. i, however opted to stay with my fellow faculty members. after a couple of minutes though, i found out why. seated three rows behind them were a bunch of engineering students and among them, my knight in shining, standing hair (naka-gel eh heheheh!), er, armor. so the rest of the night was spent with me indulging in his beautiful, beautiful presence. god, i sooooooo missed him! he’s so uber yummy!!! i know with my position and the fact that i am standing, i am very very conspicuous and i wouldn’t be surprised if he caught me looking or something. there were a few close brushes let me tell you when i looked away just in time when his head turned in my direction.

the night ended with us yelling like maniacs because our college (with sir dioned as mentor) won. and of course, i was rejoicing about my indulgence. i got home grinning from ear to ear. and went to bed like that.

but then again, i had a very, very weird and quite disturbing dream where i was trying to catch him and see him through a crowd of people. that meant i woved in and out just to catch him. and that left me all confused and “tired” when i woke up instead of being relaxed. and for the nights that followed, he would weave in and out of my dreams. one even ended with me finally cathing up on him and actually telling him “i miss you” and giving him a kiss on the cheek. that felt so real! i actually felt like i just kissed him when i woke up!

and to top all these madness off, i am now enveloped once again by a feeling of helplessness and frustration. that’s simply because i am not seeing him again. oh no… misery, misery! and he’s not texting! i feel like he’s giving me the cold shoulder because i would every now and then send him greetings and quotes. and he wouldn’t respond. i felt hurt i simply stopped texting him. i feel like im simply being “used”, being contacted only when he wants me to pray for him and his pma aspirations. i know it sounds paranoid because he’s always been like that. besides, sometimes his phone is with his younger brother. but still! i am so, so , so super miserable to the max now! no exaggerations! though i appear to be normal and functional because i just have to. not with the quiz bee review (the college was mad enough to make me one of the coaches for our science quiz bee contestants!) and the bss activities (society of bio studes of which, my department head sir dioned was crazy enough to appoint me as one of the advisers). and of course, my teaching… i think thats the reason why my patience is tethering on the edge right now and i hope my students would behave very well and not cause me to blow my fuse. that’s the last thing i need right now. and it wouldnt be fair to my students.

here’s a song i cried to the other night because it is sooooooooo lah-lah- bluberry ting- ting. i just changed the “she” parts to “he.”

You’re Beautiful by James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
He smiled at me on the subway.
He was with another girl.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yeah, he caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
he could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see him again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on his  face,
When he thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

yeah, that’s right lah, wallow in misery. thats just what you need you stupid git. you never learn….

lah-lah

OMG! First Blueberry Sighting this Semester!

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! i just saw Blueberry on my way back to the office from my 3:00- 4:00 pm class! I was all hagard and poiseless carrying the laptop and lcd on my own when i passed by the quad a. i met a whole bunch of engineering students and was actually wondering what would be like if Blueberry were one of them. it just so happen that the cas dance team for the cultural night were having their practice on stage. wouldnt you know, i actually paused a bit when i saw some of my psych students doing their routine. and get this, i paused behind 3 engineering students. and yep, one of them was my Blueberry Ting-ting! It was like receiving a very strong electric shock that made me move on making sure not to make any sound, lest he would look back and see me standing behind him. its a good thing my students were engrossed in their dance that they didnt dare call out my name as they usually do whenever they see me outside the room. It was numbness and rapid heart beat all the way,like my mind just went blank and i was just going “oh my god, oh my god! its robert!” as i walked rapidly away from him. thank goodness i ran into erinest who was wondering why i was carrying everything on my own and did not ask anyone to come and pick me up. the only answer that i gave him was : “Nakita ko si Robert! Andun si Robert!” God! I missed him! He looked as beautiful as ever, very much relaxed and all smiles.

But after that, syempre, eventually frustration set in because i could not even muster the courage to say hello because judging from my reaction, i’d be overwhelmed with so much emotion i’d be too obvious. and yes, after all that has happened last time especially with well, something i’m trying to forget…. i just dont know whether i still have the gall to show my face to him.

sigh…

Pop Band’s Most Anticipated Guitarist

EEEEEEHHHHHHHHH! i just heared through the grapevine that BLUEBERRY had finally decided to join their college’s (Engineering) group for the Pop Band Competition in this year’s Cultural Competitions. I had always encouraged him to this given his incredible talent with guitars but he would always say he’s not good enough (roll eyes), he has no time for practice and he feels different if he’s playing with a different band. I think, now that he’s no longer working, he could no longer resist the calling of his love MUSIC (i just wish I could be his one true love. but then again he’d say that the Lord is his one true love and who would dare compete with that eh?). So, now I’ve been telling Sir Dioned, who is the coach of our college’s band,  that i have to apologize this year because my heart and my love would be for the College of Engineering. He would retort that he had long been trying to pirate Ting by asking him to transfer to our college so he could be in our band but as he did not do that, he has no other choice but to hunt him down and injure him so he couldn’t play. Evil! Evil! But should there be any plans like that, my Ting can count on me eliminate the assasin! Har! Har! Har! Har! I’ve been joking around here that i’d be preparing my banners for CE and have been asking around if the audience are allowed to come up the stage to wipe the sweat off a hot band member ( im getting ready with my most beautiful and smooth hanky and would spray it with my favorite perfume. or should it be chloroform so i could abduct him? )

on a more serious note however, i am also nervous about watching him (of course i am watching!!!). one, i havent seen him yet since… and i feel like everyone here have seen him at difffirent times in different places around the campus. and how would i react is for example, our eyes would meet while he’s play. what if he looks away and snobs me? would he be also expecting to see me in the crowd or would he be happier if i wouldn’t be there? would i be able to control myself and not lose my head altogether and throw myself at his mercy on stage? hay…. i guess i would just have to find out tomorrow night! Go, go, go! College of Engineering! I love you College of Engineering! I love you Robert Baluyut Tayko! you rock my universe!love you heheheeh! miss na kita, loko!

happy happy birthday Blueberry and Maldita!

a very advanced greeting from a very special person (unexpected bliss again!):

November 10, 2006 4:30 pm Friday

Maligayang bati! ingtz plagi mam. kita kitz.

My advanced greeting for you

November 14, 2006 9:30 pm Tuesday

Happy happy birthday Ting! Have many blessed years ahead of you. Welcome 2 d crazy world of the d 20’s! Enjoy your special day and everyday thereafter of your life

Love,

Lah-lah

P.S.

I am soooo thrilled and happy to hear that i guessed right! that by saying kita kitz, you meant you enrolled again. so sad to hear how you had an operation for your pesky wisdom teeth. love you so much Ting! Miss na kita. i hope i’d run into you one of these days (though im afraid of that happening too, don’t know i want to see you again but don’t know how i’d react after all that has happened )